okay but, like. So let’s say Steve Rogers is the sun, pulling people into his orbit almost against their will, the guy that makes half of an extremely compromised and organized super spy organization go rabid and turn on itself because—well, Captain’s orders. You know who’s never pulled into his orbit, not even for a minute?
…Natasha Romanoff, because guys Captain America is not her king he is not her symbol he does not have her loyalty or her love, just whatever friendship she chooses to give, okay. You know who does have Natasha’s loyalty? You know who she has sworn fealty to? Nicholas J. Fury, guys. Captain America lays down an order and Maria Hill acknowledges it, Sam Wilson seconds him with a slow smile, Natasha just looks at Nick Fury. Waits for his word.
Guys, guys, all that fic everybody wrote about how Clint and Coulson brought her in out of the cold and the three of them were the super special extra loyal dream team that you couldn’t break up because they loved each other and stuff? THAT NEVER HAPPENED PROBABLY, because it’s SO CLEAR that Nick Fury is the guy that she’s sworn to, and no one else.
(Please write me a million aus about Nick Fury as a king and Natasha as his knight. Nick Fury as a general and Natasha as his second in command. Nick Fury as a pirate captain and Natasha as his first mate.)
Like, like just think about Natasha watching the surgery and whisperingdon’t do this to me, nick over and over again, even though she knows steve and maria can hear her, like she’s lost her anchor. think about her fingers on his brow. think about how she’s got a bullet in her shoulder and she’s steadily losing blood, white as a sheet, and maria takes her to Fury before giving her medical attention, because she knows that’s what natasha would prefer.
(LET’S DISCUSS HOW IT’S VERY CLEAR THAT NICK FURY IS A VASTLY IMPORTANT PART OF HER FOUNDATION, THE PERSON THAT TIED HER TO THE PRESENT AND TO SHIELD AND TO THE IDEA OF GOING STRAIGHT, AND NICK DOESN’T TRUST HER ENOUGH TO LET HER IN ON HIS DEATH BEING FAKED. LET’S DISCUSS THAT.)
that completely focused attention on nick fury, even as captain america declares his intent to raze the organization that saved her to the ground. that little smile when she says “company’s coming.” the way he says her name when she takes herself out.
(let’s talk about trust. let’s talk about how nick fury loves certain people but the only one he can really bring himself to trust is maria hill. let’s talk about natasha’s deadly certainty and the way we watch it shake almost apart on a stranger’s bed as she dries her hair—“I thought when I joined SHIELD I was going straight”—and then crystallize perfectly at Nick Fury’s bedside. because the woman who almost kills herself to stop pierce from getting away is not a woman who lacks either loyalty or certainty.)
JUST. CAN WE TALK?
I am vindicated,
I am selfish, I am wrong,
I am right. I swear I’m right,
swear I knew it all along,
And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well.
I am seeing in me now
the things you swore you saw yourself.
current activity: listening to depressing break-up songs and thinking about klebekah
OH MY FUCKING GOD
Goodbye social life.
CAN I JUST FUCKING
The final version of Klaus’s memoirs will contain about twenty pages of actual autobiographical material. The rest of the book will consist of lengthy rants about wine, interior decoration, and how he should have killed the original proponents of pointillism when he had the chance; an exhaustive analysis of whether movies stopped being good after the twenties by chance, or just to spite him; and historical “facts” that he made up on the spot and flatly contradict all known evidence.
And five hundred pages’ worth of Klaus and Cami arguing in the footnotes.
(Later, it is hailed as a postmodern classic. He’s tickled by that, though less so by the analyses that discuss “the narrator’s obvious narcissism and self-delusion.”
Particularly when he discovers that Elijah wrote one. Which Rebekah then helped distribute.)
#this is beautiful #also klaus gets annoyed when he finds out that rebekah has published her memoirs as well #and it sold so many more copies and people liked it more #he goes to her book signing to get his copy signed and plans to confront her #but rebekah acts as if she doesn’t know him and actually asked him what name she should write on the cover page #and smiles at him #the newest edition of klaus’ memoirs contains a section where he complains about modern standards of #literature and how critics have no idea of beauty and poetry anymore #strangely enough it does not actually make his book more popular #elijah writes a negative review which gets published in a literary magazine and klaus refuses to talk to him for a month
Fast forward about five hundred years.
Klaus and Rebekah get snarkier and snarkier about each other with each successive edition (Elijah’s book reviews gradually devolve into really really wordy variations of “Guys, stop fighting!”) until finally the apparent feud between the authors becomes the topic of serious academic discussion.
Caroline and Elena are back at school getting like their fifteenth degrees, and the Klaus/Rebekah feud is one of the things they study in the comparative literature class they’re taking that semester. They take one look at the syllabus and crack the hell up.
(They do save a bit on textbooks that semester, since Stefan already has several copies of Klaus’s book - Klaus sends him an autographed copy every time a new edition is released.
He stopped sending them to Caroline after she mailed back pictures of her setting them on fire.)
#sold #this is amazing #also i’m laughing because klaus and rebekah have been at it for 500 years and i’m #really curious how that must look to people around them #like do they pretend to use different names after a century or do people assume they’re ghostwriters or something #because there’s no way klaus didn’t publish it under his own name #people will probably think there’s some kind of family feud going on that lasts several generations #there are a few academic groups that proposed the rather bizarre theory that it could still be the same writers #but very few people believe it #elijah tries to convince klaus to stop using his name but rebekah just published her newest edition #it includes several passive aggressive quips that klaus is sure were meant to insult him #(he’s probably right this time) #also she changed to cover to his least favourite colour and he’s sure she did it on purpose #elijah doesn’t even comment anymore on the fact that klaus has all editions of rebekah’s memoirs #all signed by her personally #on a bookshelf in his bedroom
Oh, Klaus definitely publishes under his own name. Rebekah I could see being “discreet” by using the names of imaginary European nobility (or actual pseudonyms and titles she’s used over the years) but it’s not really necessary because the prevailing theory is that “Niklaus Mikaelson” and “Rebekah Mikaelson” are just pseudonyms that keep getting passed along from author to author. Sure, some people point out how extraordinarily consistent the writing styles have been through all the revisions, to the point where it seems like it has to be the same two people writing it, but that’s crazy… right?
(Elijah has finally given up on trying to make his siblings be at all discreet and has taken to keeping close tabs on the literary theories du jour, nudging them when necessary. He’s even taught a few courses here and there.
He’s still miffed about the time Klaus flooded ratemyprofessor.com with fake evaluations after they had a fight.)
And ahahaha of course they make sure the covers of their books are the other person’s least favorite color.
they compel each other’s publishers to “accidentally” print hideous and/or obscene covers.
(Klaus was terribly proud of the time he managed to get Rebekah’s book banned in fourteen countries. Later he discovered that its status as a banned book made it even more popular, and sulked for days.
Partially because she was beating him in sales, and partially because she sent him a lovingly handwritten thank-you card and a cake with “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA” written on top.)
joseph morgan → 1x20 still
"I won't lose that baby..."
to our victory, brother